Happy Holidays to Everyone!!!

Holiday Perfection???

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Holiday Perfection

Around this time of the year, mere mortal humans strive to be in the perfect zone during the holidays.  Wanting to achieve the famous holiday legend which seems to hold on year after year – perfection. The perfect present, the perfect partner, the perfect party, the perfect dinner, the perfect day and lastly the perfect reaction.

I have to admit I too reach for that elusive holiday perfection in my mind. All the media hype sets extremely unreachable goals which sets me up for disappointment when it is not achieved in reality. Perfection is really folklore.

Perfection causes

Unfortunately due to all the variables this concept of perfection is not possible. Even the smallest disappointment shatters the season. What does happen with this concept of perfection is you analyze your efforts, methods and yourself. Then instead of a Christmas list you come up with a long mental lists of everything you said or did wrong that was not perfect.  This mindset and endeavor truly defeats the spirit.

Reach for the spirit

Instead of keeping score of your failures, why don’t you work on a list of all you have to be grateful for? If you do, you will discover that you have so much more to be grateful for not only this holiday season but also throughout the coming year.

Posted by William Tollefson at 6:36 AM

Sometimes Kids Need Therapy Too…

Brought to you by
Everyday Health

When Children Need Therapy
By Dennis Thompson Jr. | Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

Children have many of the same mental health issues as adults and may also need counseling.
Here’s some advice on finding therapy for kids.
Adults like to think of childhood as a carefree time full of play and enjoyment, but that’s not true for all kids. Children are
susceptible to the same emotional health issues and mood disorders that plague adults. As many as one in five children
and adolescents may have an identifiable mental disorder that requires treatment. At least 1 in 10 has a serious emotional
disturbance.
Psychological counseling can help with many of these issues. Therapy for kids can aid children who have such problems
as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and conduct disorder.

Signs of Trouble
Warning signs that your child may need psychological counseling include:
Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness
Constant anger and a tendency to overreact to situations
Persistent worry, anxiety, or fearfulness
Preoccupation with physical illness or their own appearance
Fear that someone is controlling his mind, or that he is “out of control”
A sudden, unexplained drop in grades at school
A loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyed
Changes in patterns of sleeping or eating
Reclusiveness, preferring to be alone rather than in the company of friends or family
Hearing voices that aren’t there
Expressing thoughts of suicide
An inability to concentrate, think clearly, or make decisions
An inability to sit still
Performing routines obsessively throughout the day, such as washing hands or cleaning things
Experiencing regular nightmares
Alcohol or drug use
Dieting obsessively, or binging followed by vomiting or taking laxatives
Taking part in violent acts such as setting fires or killing animals

If a child or adolescent shows some or many of these signs, he likely needs therapy. Therapy for kids can be very
beneficial, particularly if a problem is identified before it can grow worse.

Types of Childhood Therapy
Many different types of mental health issues can arise in children, and therapy comes in many forms. Some forms of
counseling available to children, and the disorders they can help treat, include:
Cognitive ­behavioral therapy. In this form of counseling, children are taught how their own thoughts can
affect their mood and behavior. Kids are shown how to identify negative or distorted thought patterns and deal
with them. This type of therapy is helpful in addressing mood disorders like anxiety and depression.
Play therapy. Kids are given toys to play with, and a psychotherapist watches their play to better understand
their emotional or mental health issues. Different types of play help the child figure out feelings and express
them. Play therapy can help kids who have depression or anxiety because they are having trouble dealing with
life issues like divorce or the death of a loved one.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy. This is the children’s version of the classic “talking cure,” by which a
psychotherapist helps figure out the issues that are influencing how a child thinks or acts. The therapy operates
on the theory that a child’s behavior will improve once his inner struggles are brought out in the open. This can
help a child who has anxiety or depression, is dealing with an eating disorder, or is lashing out due to a conduct
disorder.
Behavior therapy. This sort of therapy for kids differs from cognitive­behavioral therapy in that it focuses on
behavior modification. Behaviors are identified that need to be discouraged or encouraged, and then parents
work to change the environmental factors that contribute to those behaviors and also provide consequences for
desired or undesired behavior. It is helpful for treating children who have ADHD, as well as other conditions for
which behavior modification is desired.
Finding Help Resources available to help parents who are concerned about their child’s mental health include:
The National Mental Health Information Center has a toll­free number (1­800­789­2647), which parents can call
to ask questions and receive information and brochures.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry offers an online resource for locating certified kids’
therapists. You also can call the academy at 1­202­966­7300.
Don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor or a qualified therapist if your child seems to be having a problem. Quick attention can
help him better overcome the issues he’s coping with, and lead a happier and healthier childhood.

Managing Depression and Stress During the Holidays

Managing Depression and Stress during the Holidays

By Debbie Rasso, LMHC, NCC, CAP

Holidays are filled with emotions. Not all of them are good.  For many people, the holidays can be less than joyful. Common feelings that arise during the holidays are depression and anxiety (aka stress).

There are many challenges at this time of year. The emphasis on shopping can bring financial stress. Holidays also are the time when families get together, including those that don’t get along.  If you have lost a loved one, holidays bring up grief and loss issues. Many people over extend themselves by agreeing to do more than they can handle. All of these factors can lead a person to feel sadness and stress.  Common symptoms include headaches, overeating, insomnia and excessive drinking.

Lately, the holidays seem to start earlier (can anyone say “Merry Halloween?”) which extends the time that a person experiences stress and/or depression.  Contrary to popular belief, the suicide rate goes down during the holidays; however, it increases as much as 40% when the New Year starts. This is often due to post-holiday stress, fatigue and feelings of disappointment if the holidays did not live up to expectations or brought too much “drama”.  It is important to reduce the stress and depression now rather than to suffer the consequences later.

So what can you do to reduce the risk? Here are a few simple tips:

1. Increase your social support network so you are not isolated. This can be done by attending support groups, calling friends or volunteering.
2. Set realistic goals for yourself. Learn to say “No”, so that you don’t overextend yourself.
3. Acknowledge your feelings and don’t force yourself to feel something that isn’t there. Grieve if you need to. You don’t have to feel happy just because “Joy to the World” is playing.
4. Try to be more tolerant of others. Remember that they are feeling the stress of the holidays too. Don’t take things personally. Try to set aside differences during the holidays. Also, you should limit the time you spend with people you don’t get along with.
5. Make sure that you maintain healthy habits. Get plenty of rest, try to get 20 minutes of sunlight and fresh air daily, exercise regularly and watch your calorie and alcohol intake. Remember, alcohol is a depressant. It may feel like it is improving your mood, but it has the side effect of making you feel worse.
6. Take time for self-care. Relax and read a book, get a massage, listen to quiet music, do some mindfulness meditation. Don’t volunteer to have the holiday gathering at your house! Let someone else be the host.
7. Focus on the good memories. Nostalgia has been proven to have remarkable positive psychological benefits.
8. Seek professional help. If after trying all of the above, you still find yourself fighting depression, lacking energy, struggling with sleep, or feeling helpless or hopeless, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Treating the core problem of childhood trauma.

Had to share…for a hoot!

Bullying features ‘hugely’ in addicts’ childhoods | Irish Examiner

Bullying features ‘hugely’ in addicts’ childhoods | Irish Examiner.

A different kind of parenting…and trauma for families

Mistletoe, Menorahs and Martinis????

Mistletoe, Menorahs and Martinis?

By Deborah Rasso, MS, LMHC, CAP

December is usually a month to remember, but not if you drink too much.  Alcohol use increases dramatically during the holidays. An increase like this can lead to heartache and problems.  Parties abound and it becomes more acceptable to drink. However, most people don’t realize that alcohol and drug use cause a higher rate of casualties during the holidays.  The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration studies have shown that during the holidays two to three times more people die in alcohol-related crashes.

It doesn’t take many drinks to be TOO MANY drinks. Most people are not aware of the effect of alcohol on decision making ability, reaction time and general behavior.  Depth perception is greatly affected by alcohol.    How many drinks can you have before safely driving?  Ideally, NONE.  Alcohol continues to affect the brain and body long after your last drink. In fact, your judgment is impaired for several hours after you put down the last glass. Even the hangover the next day can impair your ability to drive to some degree.

If a person must drive after a party, remember that you should have no more than one standard size drink per hour. This would equal either one 5 oz. glass of wine, one 12 oz. beer or 1.5 oz. of hard liquor (either straight or mixed in a drink). You might try drinking a non-alcoholic beverage in between alcoholic drinks.  If you have had more than one standard size drink per hour, don’t get behind the wheel.  Your chances of being in an alcohol related accident increase dramatically with every two drinks you consume.  A common misconception is that if you have coffee, you will be able to drive.  Not true, coffee does not lower the blood alcohol level.  Coffee does not “sober you up”.   Call a taxi, call a friend, or just stay where you are. Better safe than sorry.

Drinking and driving carries other costs as well.  If you get a DUI arrest, you can lose either your freedom or a great deal of money hiring an attorney. Many have paid well over $10,000 to stay out of jail after a DUI.

It is always advised that you have a designated driver. This person should have no alcoholic drinks so they will not put anyone at risk when they transport you home. It is important to have your “wits about you” when driving during the holidays because even if you don’t drink and drive, you don’t know about the car coming from the other direction. Quick reflexes may save your life.

If you know someone who drinks and drives frequently, they may need help in finding motivation to stop the abuse of alcohol. You can find support from local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, Al-Anon meetings (for the family) or a local therapist specializing in addictions.

Deborah Rasso, MS CAP is a Certified Addiction Professional/Therapist specializing in substance dependence. She has a private practice in Wellington. She can be reached at 561-308-4774.  

ADHD and Crime article… impulsive = jail?

Go Undiagnosed, Go Directly to Jail? The Truth About Adult ADHD and Crime (taken from Everydayhealth.com)

By Jeff Emmerson

Published Feb 8, 2014

Did you know that 20 to 45 percent of adult inmates have ADHD? Several studies have found that a large number of inmates had ADHD as children and that many of them continue to show symptoms as adults. I read this in an article by adult ADHD coach Pete Quilythe other day, and although at first I found the statistics shocking, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

I’ve been inside a jail cell myself. I was 21, sitting on a cold steel bed and contemplating suicide for the first of several times in my life.

Criminally Impulsive: My Time in Jail

I was arrested because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I had anger issues, especially where women were concerned. I sought out flighty, pretty women who would meet me on a whim and “see where things went.”

I ended up with a criminal record and what is referred to as a “weapon prohibition” here in Canada, because my conviction was for uttering threats. I was a 21-year-old hothead who wouldn’t hurt a fly, but I totally understand why I was given the 10-year ban on owning a gun due to public safety. I have always taken 100 percent responsibility for my mistakes.

It would be more than a decade before I was diagnosed with adult ADHD. I’m not saying that being unaware of my condition is what put me in jail, but I do know that if I had been diagnosed and started treatment for my adult ADHD earlier, I might have avoided many of the darkest moments of my life. At 21, I just didn’t have the right skill set to understand let alone fix the cause of most of my problems: impulsiveness and hyperactivity.

Adult ADHD and Crime Don’t Have to Go Together

The sooner people stop making light of ADHD, the better. According to Quily, adults with ADHD are four to nine times more likely to commit crimes and end up in jail. That’s nothing to joke about. On top of all those lives that could be improved just through screenings, just think about the cost of incarcerating so many people. Wow, do I feel a sense of personal responsibility here, especially after nearly losing it all, as strong and determined as I always was. ADHD broke me, and it took a two-week stay in a psych ward to begin the process of starting to re-build with a new awareness and some small feeling of hope in my future.

The implication of these statistics is dire for those suffering from the monster known as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. How many have already killed themselves? How many are in the fog of addiction? The world is just beginning to wake up to this mental health condition for what it is, and, equally important, what it isn’t. A diagnosis doesn’t mean the rest is a walk in the park or some sort of genius-inducing superpower. Sure, I have some special skills and abilities, but we all have gifts just like we have areas to work on.

Second Chances — and Treatment — Are Effective

Since my time in jail in my 20′s, I’ve worked hard to “prove myself” in many ways,  including pursuing my goal for over a decade of becoming an armed guard. My diagnosis in 2011 was the true beginning of a major shift in my awareness. Yes, I’ve had a bad spell here and there, but I got the help I needed, and am much more aware these days. I am grateful every single day for my new life and goals.

I got the gift of a second chance, but most aren’t as lucky as I was. Jails and prisons should implement ADHD screening and testing. Just think of how many million lives and dollars could be saved with that one simple change! Most people in jail aren’t career criminals. If you believe in them and give them a chance to get better, they can do amazing things in life! I see that every single day when I look in the mirror.