Monthly Archives: January 2015

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A good explanation of EMDR

Category:Mental Health and Addictions


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Article about Marijuana Anonymous

Category:Mental Health and Addictions

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/30683620


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Description of co-dependency

Category:Mental Health and Addictions

codependency


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A little something about ANXIETY

Category:Mental Health and Addictions

I’m FREAKIN’ Out!
By Debbie Rasso, LMHC, CAP, NCC, ICADC

How many times have you heard yourself or someone else say this? Things at times seem overwhelming and we may begin to feel high levels of anxiety. In the past, we would pick up our favorite drug or drink. Doctors were often quick to “give you a pill” to help you with that. That, of course, isn’t much help. What we really need are the coping skills to be able to “deal with” the anxiety we are feeling. We need to solve the problem that is causing the anxiety. Sometimes it isn’t so easy to think rationally. Especially when the pulse is raising, we are having racing thoughts, and are on the verge of a panic attack. Here are a few quick things you can try that may get you to calm down enough to begin to think of solutions to the problem at hand.
1. Check your breathing – Make sure you ARE breathing. Sometimes you will be holding your breath and not even realizing it. Take long SLOW deep breaths. If you need to, breath into a paper bag for a minute or two. (cup it around your nose and mouth).
2. Tell yourself “It is going to be fine, I can handle this”. Repeat this phrase until you believe it. There really isn’t much that you can’t handle.
3. Get a cold drink. If you’re driving, blast yourself with cold air from the air conditioner. If you’re at home, take a few deep breaths with your head in the freezer (who cares who’s looking!)
4. Smell something that comforts you. Reach for your favorite cologne or air freshener. Take a wiff of some chocolate or coffee. This sensory experience will interrupt the process in the brain that is feeding the anxiety.
5. Take a brisk walk or go to the gym.
6. Talk to a friend, family member or your sponsor.
7. Try mindfullness (Pay attention to everything around you at the moment…hear the birds, feel the air on your skin, feel your feet on the floor, listen to yourself breath, listen to the sounds in the room.
8. Put on your favorite music and sing along really loud! Or just get up and dance until you can’t dance anymore.
Once the panic is over, take some time to think about what is making you feel anxious. Take pen to paper and journal about your feelings or make a list of things you can do to solve the problem at hand. Remember not to sweat the small stuff!


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Forgiveness (found this in a drawer)

Category:Mental Health and Addictions
They may not deserve FORGIVENESS, but I do
FORGIVENESS is an act, not a feeling.
Though it may generate feelings, FORGIVENESS is an exercise of the will.
When we FORGIVE, we refuse to be further damaged by the doings of others.
A refusal to FORGIVE is called a resentment.
and the victim of resentment is always the one who carries it.

The people we refuse to FORGIVE may neither know or care about our resentment.
To hang onto a resentment is to harbor a thief in the heart.
By the minute and the hour, resentment steals the joy we could treasure now and remember forever.
It pilfers our energy to celebrate life – to face others as a messenger of grace rather than an ambassador of doom.
We victimize ourselves when we withhold FORGIVENESS.
Today I will remember that FORGIVENESS is a giver and resentment is a taker.
Because I deserve it, I will FORGIVE old hurts.
I will see FORGIVENESS as a gift to myself. 

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Are you co-dependent???

Category:Mental Health and Addictions

I’m Ok ONLY if you’re OK….. Romeo!romeo and juliet

By Debbie Rasso, MS, LMHC, CAP, NCC

When you find yourself living to make someone else happy, you might just be a co-dependent. When another person’s needs are more important than your own, you might just be a co-dependent. When it is your job to save someone, you just might be a co-dependent.  Everyone knows the age old story of Romeo and Juliet.  One was unwilling to live without the other… this is codependency at work.  It creeps up on some people.  You think that the relationship is equal and he/she is the “love of your life”. Suddenly, the relationship is your life.  You are “holding it all together”.  The more you do for this person, the more you have to do for this person.  Then you figure… he/she will need me if I do everything for them and then they will LOVE me.  And in the end that is what you are looking for – someone to love you.  Here is a novel idea… love yourself instead!  If you put the energy into taking care of yourself that you do taking care of that other person, you will probably realize you are much happier and you deserve someone who will give as much as they take, an equal partner.

Co-dependents are addicted to the relationship.  That is why it is important in early recovery to avoid relationships.  You replace your drug with a person.  Suddenly you want to do everything and anything for that other person. All your energy is invested in making this other person happy.  Just like all your energy used to be invested in finding that drug or drink and enjoying that rush when you took it… but soon it turned into the quest to be able to find more. Yes, sometimes that person will love you back and you will feel the thrill of being loved and needed, not long after you will feel the emptiness again when they disregard your feelings or disappoint you. Then…. the chase is back on to meet their needs again and this time you are SURE it will be different…

If you are an addict/alcoholic there was probably a co-dependent right next to you trying to take care of you and keep you from consequences. Dad didn’t let you go to jail, Mom gave you money when deep down she knew it was for drugs, wife called your work and said you had the “flu”. The list goes on. Behind every good addict is a better co-dependent. Now that you are in recovery, don’t go to the “dark side” and become the co-dependent for another addict. Stop the cycle.

Just because you have been the addict, don’t think you can’t be the co-dependent. Often you are both. If you find you have low self-esteem, you try to control others, you’re a perfectionist, you deny your own feelings (or don’t even know what they are), you don’t feel you can trust people, you’re always doing more than everyone else, you will do anything to stay in the relationship, and you feel like no one appreciates all that you do, then you might be a co-dependent and you probably aren’t very happy.

There are so many books that can help you. One of the most popular is “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie. Therapy will help you. There are also meetings and support groups such as CODA  (Codependents Anonymous). Stop the madness. Take care of yourself. Believe that you are worth it – Because you are!